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Zombies 'R' Real

Zombies 'R' Real

Welcome to Zombies 'R' Real, the webpage that will inform you about real zombies.

Yes that's right people, there are real, live zombies living amongst us today, only most people refuse to take notice of the very real threat.

But no, you know that all those horror films featuring zombies were REAL, not "fictional" or "make-believe".

And that's why you decided to visit this webpage, to learn more about the facinating world of...


Table Of Contents


  • What Is A Zombie?
  • How Do You Become A Zombie?
  • What Are The Symptoms Of Zombititus?
  • How Can I Protect Myself From A Zombie?
  • How Smart Are Zombies?
  • How Are Zombies Like Humans?
  • What Happens If I Am Bitten By A Zombie?
  • How To Prepare For A Zombie Invasion

  • What You Need...
  • Flee If...
  • When On The Run, DO NOT...
  • PLaces To Flee To...
  • Once You Have Fled You Should...
  • How To Survive The Horrors That Follow...
  • Other Zombie Websites


    What Is A Zombie?

    A zombie is "the living dead", people who have died and than have been reanimated (or, more simply, rose from the dead). They experience no pain and have no other thoughts than to simply devour the living. They have no recolection of past lives, so, except under extremly rare circumstances, they will not respond to loved things or people.

    How Do You Become A Zombie?

    You can become a zombie three ways, (1) by being bitten by a zombie, (2) zombie blood getting into your bloodstream (yes they have blood), or (3) by contracting the disease itself (read paragraph below on Zombititus).

    You see, the zombie transformation is actually a virus called "Zombititus". It spreads much like AIDS, but is believed (by experts such as myself) to have originated in tombs of the ancient Egyptians. When archeologists and grave robbers began disturbing the sleeping mummies, they also let loose a dormant disease that has come back with vengance.

    What Are The Symptoms Of Zombititus?

    Zombititus has a few obvious symptoms. First, the infected area (if you are bitten) turns black. You begin to feel delusional and are unaware of what is going on. You find it diffucult to perform even the simpilist of tasks. Your bodily functions slow down, and your mind deteriorates. Eventually you die (this can all happen in as long as two days, or as short as two hours depending on the severity of the bite). Once you are dead, the disease continues to eat away at your body, like a rapid decompisition (once again, this can take up to two weeks or it can happen in a few hours). When all life has been destroyed, the corpse is revived (often times, it has already been buried, which is where zombies rising from their graves came from), and the monster goes on his killing spree.

    How Can I Protect Myself From A Zombie?

    Protecting yourself is actually quite simple. The easiest thing to do (if faced with one or two) is to run away and get to a safe shelter. Don't worry about trying to run like an Olympic Athlete, zombies can not run, and they can't walk very fast either. Therefore, you can easily escape one without tiring yourself out. Just remember the story about the tortise and the hare!

    A safe shelter would be, preferably, a tornado shelter or bomb shelter, but as not everyone has the luxury of a steel and concrete bunker hidden in their backyard, it is best to improvise. In your home, barricade all doors and windows in the house, making sure that nothing can break through. Keep all the necesities needed to survive near you, including a gun. That way, if a zombie does manage to enter your house, you don't need to scramble around looking for a weapon. Remember, ALWAYS AIM TO BLOW THEIR BRAINS OUT!!!

    (another quick solution, burn your zombie to a crisp, although I would warn you to get out of the way to avoid burning up too.)

    If you are not near your home and do not have a weapon, quickly escape to the nearest safe place, a friends home would do nicely. Avoid running to cities because even though that will help you, it will not help the poor souls that get bitten when they run into the zombie. Of course, if you don't want to destroy the zombie, you can always dash off and allow the zombie to get lost all on its own.

    How Smart Are Zombies?

    Zombies are perhaps, the smartest thing next to turkey's. They have absolutly no intelligance.

    How Are Zombies Like Humans?

    Except for the fact that zombies began as humans, there is absolutly no similarities. They have no hand-eye coordination, so they cannot climb or swim. They do not breathe and do not bleed when cut, though blood remains in their bodies. They use none of their organs, even the digestive track stops working. Also, they cannot heal and remain alive unless their head is severed from the body, or the brain is completly blown out. Zombies have no emotions and are impossible to tame. Never try to reason with a zombie, they have no response to emotion. In short, zombies are exactly what they seen: walking corpses.

    What Happens If I Am Bitten By A Zombie?

    Than you're dead, Zombititus has no cure. I would suggest killing yourself as soon as possible.

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    And with that we move onto the next section...

    How To Prepare For A Zombie Invasion

    What You Need:

  • Gun
  • Bullets (lots and lots of them)
  • Large Knife/Axe
  • Bottled Water
  • Non-Perishable Foods (NO cans)
  • Blanket
  • Warm Clothes
  • Maps Of Surrounding Areas
  • Fully Stocked Medical Kit
  • Flare Gun
  • Good Running Shoes
  • A Backpack to Store Everything
  • Flee If:

  • There are no ways to of defending yourself
  • Your home is too unstable to support the constant strain of many zombies attacking all at once
  • There are too many zombies for you to kill by yourself
  • You have run out of supplies
  • When On The Run, DO NOT:

  • keep the sound on on electronisc devices
  • run to areas of high population (if there is a large Zombie attack)
  • run to the woods or shadowy places like that
  • sleep at night
  • let your guard down (there may be a few zombies who stumble upon you even in the most unlikeliest of places)
  • travel alone (unless you have no other option)
  • travel in groups over ten (and that's pushing it)
  • attack zombies unnecesarily, if you can run than that is your best bet
  • travel by car
  • attract attention to yourself, unless it's a rescue team (unlikely)
  • confront other people outside of your own group
  • try to treat anybody bitten with Zombititus, it's best to put them out of their misery
  • Places To Flee To:

  • States at least fifty miles away
  • Rural areas far away
  • Another country (overseas)
  • Once You Have Fled You Should:

  • Set up a new home
  • Create a community with jobs for everyone
  • Stockpile provisions
  • Make the area safe in case zombies do manage to run into your new home (large chain link fences and deep ditches)
  • Train the proper way of fighting zombies to be prepared in case they do attack
  • (suggestion: do not try to warn others in your new home if they are not aware that zombies exist, many times excapees have tried to save unknowing citizens, but ended up in the loony bin. Not a good thing when zombies attack, even if it is very safe.)

    How To Survive The Horrors That Follow:

  • Take sleeping pills at night to avoid nightmares
  • Drink a lot
  • Slowly get used to the idea of living with zombies
  • Stay up all night to reassure yourself that no one is going to attack
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    NOTE: Many of these zombie invasion rules apply only to massive attacks (over one hundred zombies), so they should not be used when encountering only one or two of these creatures.


    Here Is A List Of Othe Zombie Websites:

  • Zombies:By Tom Polger
  • Zombies On The Web:By David Chalmers
  • Twilight Creatures/Zombies!!!
  • I Love Zombies
  • Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy/Zombies
  • REAL Zombies In Haiti
  • Scientific Research/Zombies
  • Zombie Alert
  • Dr. Vulture's Laboratory Of Evil Science/Zombies
  • NOTE: Some web page zombie facts may contradict other pages, but that is because there are many different types of zombies.

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    Zombie Pictures courtesy of (from left to right): zombies_gallery.htm film/nightfold/

    Page Created By Erin Sullivan

    Last Updated June 25th, 2004